Thursday, June 28, 2012

In His Own Time, Not Mine.

Kaiden's therapist gave us a list of activities specific to his test scores that we should pick from to make a menu. The theory being, if we continually feed the need for sensory input we will avoid the seeking behaviors. Much like how eating a steady diet avoids hunger. 

As thrilled as I am about finding the correct diagnosis, I'm overwhelmed by what needs to be done. I knew going in that it wasn't going to be a simple, here fix my kid, scenario. But I think that somewhere deep inside, in that place that parents don't want to admit exists, I was kind of hoping it would be. 

So I sat with my list of activities and my menu and filled it out. That part, was easy.

Now the difficulty lies in trying to incorporate these into our every day life. Five kids, four homeschoolers, two dogs, two cats, and various other insanity seems to block the best intentions. I am not ashamed to admit that today, we did not do all of our sensory diet. I am however proud to admit that we did do our evening routine. 

A typical evening/bedtime routine would comprise itself of calming activity. My youngers get the, let's lay quietly in bed and look at a book, listen to music, and relax, treatment. 

Kaiden's typical (now) bedtime routine is as follows:

Football Drills - Throwing Postures, Up Downs, Suicides
Wrestling - 15 minutes of throw down with his older cousin
Joint Decompression - Gently pushing/pulling the joints from shoulder to toes

Then we are ready for bed. 

I know we can do this, we have to do this. I will do everything possible to help my son be at peace with himself. 

I tried to work on his page earlier, The Evolution of a Kaiden. I found it a lot more difficult than expected. Sifting through all of his past, everything he and we have gone through. I feel as though a part of his life was robbed by this disorder. Like we were robbed of that time with him. The constant fight just to keep him level. Like all we ever did was correct him. 

I can't get that time back for him, or for us. I can't make his bad times go away. So I'm going to try and focus on what I can do. I can make it better from here on out. I can help him now. And I can watch as he becomes he person I know he can be. I can let my pride shine through him. Because if there is one thing I am, it is proud of that boy. He has overcome so much, even before we were able to get him help. 

So for now, I will take a deep breath. I will realize that nothing is instant. It will take time and practice to get this schedule correct. We will be flexible. I will be flexible. I will leave my worries in God's hands and know that eventually we will get there. I don't want to reach the end and realize I didn't even enjoy the scenery on the ride. 

Quote of the Day:
"Mommy! I got a rhyme! Nookie Cookie, that rhymes right?"

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